There's Nothing New Under the Sun

All is vanity, saith the preacher. Or as the Bare Naked Ladies sang, "Its All Been Done." I mentioned earlier my belief that there are really only about a dozen "recipes" in the world, that all the seeming variety of dishes and foods is a result of myopia, a tendency to see only the trees and not the forest, something which is easy with food, as our relationship with it is so intimate, and individual preferences are so strong and so often based on tiny differences in flavor or texture.

In my area of Joisey, for example, its easy to get into an hour-long debate (argument, screaming match, fistfight, this is important stuff) over pizza, which will go into amazing detail as to different styles and within styles, different effects and characteristics, and the relative merits and demerits which should be accorded these variations. Thick or thin crust? Thats not even a debate, thin crust; and the bottom should be just slightly scorched and crispy. Sauce is of course vital, not too much, and the quality of the cheese is of utmost importance; most strip-mall garbage pizzas use horrid, oily, industrial mozzarella, and too-much of it, creating a leaden, grainy mass of disgusting smegma, covered with pools of oil. Dreck pizza. Real pizza has a thin crust, just a smear of an aromatic, herby sauce, and just enough cheese, not too much, not too little, cooked till not just melted, but slightly browned with some crsipy areas, and a generous crust around the outside edge with giant bubbles in the dough there which turn dark brown and crispy. The product sold in Pizza Hut, everyone around here would agree, simply isn't pizza. Its "Pizza"(tm). That foodstuff which is consumed in Chicago under the name "pizza" is a mystery, something closer to lasagna than pizza. Pineapple does not belong on pizza, acceptable toppings are sausage, pepperoni, onions, green peppers, mushrooms, and anchovies. Period. If you disagree on any of these points, I pity your benighted ignorance.

Clearly, the closer you examine something, the more you know about it, the more you become a connoisseur, the more lines you will draw, and the more divisions and definitions you will employ. Humans seem to love distinguishing, making distinctions, it seems to come naturally, and to produce a satisfaction somewhere within. Stepping back and trying to see hidden relations among superficially different things seems harder to do, less natural. People look at me like I am insane when I insist that chili, good old chili con carne, is the same as coq au vin, is the same as tahini, is the same as osso buco, is the same as thai green curry, is the same as beef stew, is the same as pot roast. But they are, they are in their most important characteristics the same recipe, they just vary proportions or substitute ingredients. Here is the recipe: take meat, brown it in oil, add liquid and vegetables or legumes, and spices, cook for a long time over low heat. The meat might be beef, pork, chicken, lamb, veal; it might be ground, it might be cut up, it might consist of whole chops or whole cuts. The liquid might be tomatoes, it might be stock, it might be wine, it might be coconut milk. The vegetables and legumes could be anything under the sun, likewise the spices. Its all one recipe. Meat slow-cooked in liquid, with more or less vegetables, herbs, and spices. I call it "stew."

Here is a rough, preliminary listing of the fundamental recipes, the deep roots of cuisine, the Ur-recipes common to every culinary language:

Meats subjected to dry heat. Barbecued, grilled, broiled, pan-broiled, saute'd, and roasted meats (flesh, fish, or fowl). This includes roast beef, grilled steaks or chops, scallopini, stir-fries, meatloaf, some of the simplest of the simple things, but also some surprises. This category can overlap with the stews, depending on how you look at it, my distinction is the difference between a meat cooked dry and then sauced (a stir fry) and a meat cook inn the liquid (a curry). A subcategory would be vegetables subjected to dry heat.

Grains subjected to dry heat. Breads, leavened or unleavened, tortillas, pitas, pizzas, cakes, pastries, baked potatoes (I don't care, its the same as bread, imagine the potato is a single, giant wheat berry), popcorn, pancakes.

Grains boiled. Rice, pasta, cream-o-wheat, oatmeal, risotto, polenta, mashed potatoes.

Vegetables boiled.

Stew (see above).

Soup. Foodstuff floating in water. Or pureed into and thickening the water.

Sauces.

Is there anything out there that doesn't fall into these categories?